And, well, sometimes the bar eats you.
This has been a tough week. I've been heartbroken by the news circulating the US eventing scene of the loss of two wonderful horses in such devastating freak circumstances, in addition to the other horses I've known, high profile and not, that have already passed or been injured this year. It's been a brutal reminder that riding is a tough sport that gets at you in unexpected, gutting ways. We vest so much into these beautiful creatures: love, hope, the piece of ourselves that aspires to be the very best we can be. And yet they are so fragile, and they can vanish from in front of our eyes in a moment. I wish I could be close to my horses right now to give them a hug after this week. It's taken a toll on me.
In comparison to that, my own problems seem rather small, but problems I've been having nonetheless. Starting last Wednesday, I started to feel really congested and short of breath during my erg workout for crew (it also didn't help that we were doing 3x2k, aka death workout). I took the next few days pretty easy and thought I was feeling better, though I noticed that my body was taking a really long time to recover from Wednesday's workout and that I was still feeling achey on Saturday afternoon. Not normal.
On Sunday we went out to Dorney again for another water outing, and it was just a mess for me from the start. I just couldn't get my timing together, and I felt progressively more and more out of sequence as the workout went on. I slowly realized that I was feeling progressively more and more lightheaded, and that as I had to shift my weight forward to move up the slide and put my blade in the water I would get so dizzy that I felt like I was going to pass out. Not normal.
I got off the water almost in tears. The session hadn't gone that well and a lot of people were frustrated, and I felt like I'd let sabotaged everyone with whatever was going on with me. Everyone on my team was so nice about it and wasn't mad at me, but I had a hard time not feeling like I'd single-handedly dragged everyone down to my sickbed level of shoddiness.
Afterwards I felt sufficiently crappy to not protest to going straight to the doctor (which means you KNOW I was feeling crappy), where I was diagnosed with a virus AND a sinus infection. Lovely. I'm now heavily medicated but steel feeling even worse 24 hours later, so I'm hoping I'm at the nadir now and that it's all uphill from here. I hate feeling like I'm not at my best, especially since I've been enjoying rowing so, so much and would be devastated if something like this ended up throwing a wrench into my somewhat delicate hopes and dreams for this upcoming season.
Oh well. There's not much I can do about it now except try to get better!